Whom to Choose
Just recently, my family confronted me and told me to break up with my boyfriend. They do not want me to date him because they found out that he dropped out of college, and he is now trying to get into music. He is a good man, but my family sees him the other way around. I want him to win my family over. I just can’t let go of either of them because they are both very important to me. Can you give me tips on how to go about this?
Dear ‘Whom To Choose’:
I totally understand what you are going through . It is a very difficult situation to be in; when your family doesn’t approve of the person you’re dating. The reality is that you are the only who can decide what’s really right for you. Respecting your family is important to you, and that is why you feel like you have to choose between honoring your family and dating your boyfriend.
Have you given a thought as to whether your boyfriend considered your relationship while making the decision to leave college? When a man loves a woman he normally makes choices that will lead the relationship forward. Dropping out of college to pursue music does not look like he is thinking about you or the relationship. I understand that you would want to support his dreams but this should not impact your dreams as well. You need to talk to him about what his goals are, and what he wants for his own life. Once you find this out you’ll be able to decide if you are both moving in the same direction. If you’re not moving towards similar goals you should reconsider whether this relationship has any long-term potential. Whatever decision you make, you should base it on what’s best for both you and your boyfriend and not your family. Be true to yourself, trust in your ability to make your own decisions, and you will know what to do.
Do you believe in giving second chances? I dated a guy a few months ago, but it didn’t work out. He’s been reaching out to me, and I’m not sure if I should go back out with him.
Dear ‘Second Chance’:
You’ve not given me enough details about your relationship with this guy for me to gauge the seriousness of the relationship. How did the guy treat you when he was with you? Why did you guys stop seeing each other? Without knowing the details it’s hard to give the best advice.
However, personally, I do believe in second chances if your good feelings about the relationship outweigh the bad ones. Sometimes, we tend to fall in love with a person’s potential rather than what he is offering you at the moment and this might cause you to hold onto a relationship longer than you should. If a relationship is not progressing at a pace that you’re comfortable with, it might be time to move on. But if you like the guy and the relationship didn’t end badly; I don’t see any harm in going out with him again. Remember to take it slow, and see what happens and you’ll know soon enough if giving him a second chance is worthwhile.
Making the First Move
At the gym a month ago, my friend pointed out a guy who constantly looked my way and seemed interested (as she put it). Since then, he often smiles at me and tries to make eye contact, even helping me with some of my exercises. I’ve become attracted to him but I don’t know how to talk to him. We occasionally talk about general stuff and he seems pretty keen to talk to me, but I have a feeling that he might be as hesitant as I am to make any serious moves. What can I do to figure him out, and see if he really is into me or not?
Dear ‘Making the First Move’:
From the information that you have provided, it is clear that this guy is genuinely interested in talking to you, but whether this means he wants a friendship or a relationship is totally unclear. Maybe you are right to think that he is hesitant to approach you and make a move, but usually a man who is seriously interested in a woman always makes his interest known.
It might take him some time to build up the courage to ask you out as he tries to figure out his true feelings, but he will definitely make the move. My suggestion would be to continue being yourself, enjoy his company, and flirt with him. When he’s clear about how he feels he will ask you out. If he never does he might just be a nice guy and you’ll end up with a good friend. Continue showing interest while enjoying his company and see where HE takes it. That’s how you’ll know if he’s really into you or not. I hope this helps!